freckle juicer

Here we go!

I’ve accepted that I can only leave my apartment for work and the gym.  It’s a big, bad non-macrobiotic world out there.  A week’s worth of social activities is a small price to pay to the GOOP gods.  Today was pretty OK.  Work kept me busy, no one invited me out for happy hour, and now I’m safely locked at home with Gwyneth-approved detox foods only.  Oh wait, I just remembered a have some beer in the fridge.  I shouldn’t have reminded myself.  Let’s get to the play-by-play.

“Upon rising” Gwyneth insists on both a glass of room temperature water with lemon and herbal tea.  Easy enough.

Do you see how I got sneaky and put a lemon in the tea?  I’m so bad!  I’m not sure why room temperature water is a better cleanser than cold water, but it’s certainly not as pleasant.  The tea, meh.  I’m not a big tea person.  These two drinks happen every morning on GOOP.

For breakfast Gwyneth provides a recipe for a blueberry/almond/protein powder smoothie.  Yum?

Well, it’s no Jamba Juice.  I went a little nuts with the pulse button on my new $15.99 Walgreens blender and it came out a little frothy.  Still, I garnished with a bendy straw and sucked it down.  This is breakfast every morning.  I’ll cool it with the blender button power trip tomorrow.

The GOOP detox recommends a mid-morning “snack” of coconut water.  I bought it but forgot to bring it to work.  Whoops.  I’ll try it tomorrow.  Lunch is next!  Today’s selection is a salad of lettuce, onions, and avocado with a carrot/ginger dressing that Gwyneth calls “the jam.”  We’ll see.

Not bad.  The avocados didn’t have much taste, which might be because I don’t know how to select the ripe kind and picked the top one off the heap.  The onions were tasty though.

My mid-afternoon snack was a handful of sunflower seeds.  The organic, unsalted raw kind, not the David’s BBQ and Ranch kind.  Pleasant enough.  Dinner is broccoli soup with elitist arugula blended in.

Gwyneth calls this soup “dynamic” and “peppery.”  I call it bland and strangely textured.  I added some Tony Chacheres seasoning for a little kick.  Worked like a charm.

I’m about to settle in with a hot cup of laxative tea.  I don’t have to work tomorrow, so it seems like the right time to give it a try.  Also tomorrow: my first attempt at yoga and the steam room.  Hunger wasn’t an issue today, but I suspect that won’t last long.

Love,